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The "Life Lesson Processing" Tree

Life Lesson Processing Theory Tour

Human Being's Timeline

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 From the Cradle to the Grave

The physical timeline of human beings from the cradle to the grave has been covered in countless books. Here we want to specifically look at life lessons.

We can roughly distinguish between Standard Lessons, Cultural Lessons and Personal Lessons.

We will cover personal lessons on a separate page, as they interest us most and need to be seen from a special angle. Also they can be stretched out over several lifetimes in order to cover many angles on the same theme, so they do not fit in here.


 Standard Human Life Lessons

These are the lessons that have to be learned by any human being as a foundation for everything else they want to tackle during a lifetime. We could call them the alphabet of living - the words and grammar from which all personal development on the human level is composed. Each of these standard lessons is typically learned at a certain body age:

  • merging with a body at or before birth, or shortly afterwards. The "container" lesson of Incarnation.

  • walking around 1 year of age

  • talking around 3 years of age

  • family connections and first personal friendships up to school age

  • basic cultural skills like reading and writing, plus interaction with non-family people in the early school years

  • orientation in present time human culture and peer connections in the later school years

  • the main technological skills of the time in childhood and later (could be sword fighting or horse riding in the middle ages, or the use of the computer, mobile phone and the internet in our age etc.)

  • romantic connections beginning around 15 years

  • proper diet and taking care of the body in the late teens

  • managing a household around the age of 20

  • managing financial affairs, paperwork and other administrative tasks around the age of 20

  • the skills and art of lovemaking around the age of 20

  • somewhere around 20 there begins the all-important lesson of Morphic Field Emancipation

  • professional skills and financial autonomy in the early 20's

  • temporary (exploratory) relationships in the early 20's

  • stable relationships in the late 20's - see also our page about Love and Human Bonding Versus Sexuality

  • building or renovating a house, taking care of a property in the late 20's or early 30's

  • parenting around the age of 30 and later - sometimes this has to be learned earlier to cope with early pregnancies

  • community networking and dealing with government and officials in the 40's

  • after living a human life has been learned well, the lesson of Spiritual Sovereignty could start

  • managing other people's death and disease in the 50's

  • fulfilling personal desires (that always had to wait) in the 60's and 70's - another last chance to work at the balance of Service to Self vs. Service to Others - or in other words, the balance of Give and Take

  • rounding up a lifetime, learning about the afterlife and preparing for body death in the 80's or above  

Of course these are average numbers, they can vary for individuals, especially if personal lessons modify things (as in early disease).

We have been talking about unfinished life lessons that can go back many lifetimes in the past; but there can also be life lessons that are unfinished from this very same lifetime - not Personal Lessons with a theme like patience, discipline, persistence, courage etc., but the standard lessons that every human being has to learn in order to function in his own survival and in family and professional life. They may have been skipped for various reasons when it would have been the right time to do them; maybe there were more urgent things to learn or to do, or maybe the surrounding culture was not supportive enough.

Since they are still not completed way after their due time, we call these lessons Delayed Lessons. Depending on the circumstances, these un-learned lessons can be a more or less serious influence in a person's life. In some cases they can even totally crush his chances at success, be it in his career, his health, his love life, as a parent etc.

 The Lesson Of Incarnation

Incarnation - "taking on flesh" - is an ongoing lesson that evolves throughout a human lifetime, adding each of the Standard Lessons on top of the previous ones, while also working on Personal Lessons. We could call incarnation a "container" lesson, because the spiritual being's existence in and cooperation with the body contains the management of all these individual lessons that follow after birth. They interact like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

The process of incarnating is not something that happens once and is then done until we incarnate into the next body. It needs to be created continuously by breathing, sleeping, eating, procreating, and handling all the mundane matters that are required to keep a human body intact. Only when all this is in place, can any personal lessons of the human type be processed. In everyday speech we would simply call it "living life", if there were not the extra layer of personal lessons, for which life in the body is the vehicle.

So, to recapitulate: whe have an incarnation as a vehicle and a set of personal lessons as its payload. Human life manages both the vehicle and its journey with the payload of personal lessons. All of that travels together on an individual spiritual being's timeline to make him richer in experiences and understanding, and follows the Life Plans he is making between incarnations.

 Carrier and Signal

Click to enlarge this image of signal and carrier waves!In electronics, we have a similar concept in the carrier wave and the signal. There are two ways of getting it wrong: neglecting the carrier will make it impossible for any signal to arrive, while taking care of the carrier only without putting a signal on it makes the whole transmission useless and empty.

In life, the carrier would be the body with its surrounding physical existence. Even the most spiritual people have to pay attention to that, because if the carrier suffers, the signal suffers too; if the carrier dies, the signal dies with it. It is the signals that we want to receive from a person - wonderful, adorable signals - smiles, kisses, hugs, jokes, kindness, wisdom, intellectual brilliance, emotional warmth, physical beauty, erotic passion, personal commitment, practical skills. But if we neglect the signal's carrier, the Physical Body, its well-being and its Health, all we will be receiving is the agony of disease and dying.

Taking care of the carrier only, without putting any signal on it, is another temptation. Such people will be solely interested in the body: fashion, cosmetics, hairstyle, shoes, beauty surgery, body building, sophisticated cooking, a sex life out of proportion, recreational drugs, expensive furniture, carpets or pieces of art - the proverbial golden water taps in the bathroom. If such a person does show up in an LLP session (unlikely, because they have no spiritual ambitions), it could be worth the time to try and show them the difference (and the relation) between a carrier and a signal, or a vehicle and a payload. Maybe they realize that while they kept polishing their vehicle, they were never driving a single mile with it, and are far from arriving anywhere. 

But it is not our job to make them wrong for what they are doing. They may be on a Personal Lesson about these things - they most probably are. Let's just stay aware of what we are perceiving, and be ready to give them a hand if they decide that they want to evolve beyond this carrier cultivation game.

 How Standard Lessons and Personal Lessons Overlap



Personal lessons going over several lifetimes overlap with the standard lessons of one incarnation as a human being. The illustration above shows just one of countless different possible combinations. They are as unique to an individual as a fingerprint.

 Service To Self/Service To Others

This is an alltime classic combination of personal lessons: the concept of Service to Others versus the concept of Service to Self. A majority of people neglect others for the sake of their own happiness, but the 70 year old lady in the example shown in the illustration above has it reversed: She always puts others first, and has developed a habit of neglecting herself.


Note how the themes of her personal lessons color the standard lessons. She is good in lovemaking - unusual for a lady of her generation because they grew up in a Morphic Field very subject illiterate and suppressive toward sex, but her personal theme of nourishing others made her overcome that for the sake of her husband. She is also good in relationships, parenting and healthcare - all things she needs to nourish others.


Although she is already in an age range where she could tend to ther personal desires, she neglects them - with the exception of writing, because she has verbal expression as another personal theme, which lifts writing out of the tendency to neglect her own pleasures. But the standard lesson of nutrition is delayed - which is why she is beginning to pay the price for her self-neglect in form of bad health. We would think that her theme of nourishing others would motivate her to excel in nutrition, but here she was greatly let down by her culture - she learned a style of cooking that is very nutritionally defunct, and is not aware of its severe shortcomings.


Money making is in average shape, which is again unusual, because in ladies of her generation it would typically be underdeveloped, but to nourish her kids she needed that feature. Community networking is normal - the morphic field likes it, and no personal lesson suppresses it. So is the early childhood lesson of walking - an individual with a personal theme of "being handicapped" might have been born with a crippled leg to make this lesson possible.


Note that she is going to complete her Personal Lesson of "Nourishing Others" in this lifetime - she has been working on that one in three previous lifetimes and it culminates in this one. The two other personal lessons will continue into future lives.

There is one risk factor for any incarnation, and this is Entropy, or "the urge to rest". Any part of our incarnation that we cease to create because the urge to rest is overpowering the urge to create (to act), will immediately start to fall apart, and in the long run suffer from bad management, possibly becoming an incomplete lesson. Professional or married life, a household, a farm - everything will quickly turn into chaos if a creative spirit is no longer animating it.

Emotional pain leading back to past key experiences can also make it hard to keep creating all parts of our lives, also of course health problems, but the urge to rest is a factor in itself if it becomes very strong in the middle of an incarnation. It can tempt us to leave a lesson half done - a very unsatisfying situation not only for ourselves but also for the people who count on us, and now find us playing our parts in their Screenplays with less than total enthusiasm.


Sometimes the process of merging with a body is as such traumatic for a spiritual being, because of all his negative experiences in earlier incarnations. This is an indication for processing.  While the processing is going on - which will need a while -, exercises in Grounding can help to anchor the spiritual being in Earth life.

Another situation where grounding exercises are useful is when the spiritual being has gone out of body and now has difficulty to manage daily life - floats "on a cloud" or loses touch with daily necessities like eating, washing, working. Such an Out of Body Experience (OBE) can happen in processing, but also during drug episodes or in traumatic or dangerous situations, or during episodes of Clinical Death (in accidents, heart attacks or operations), where it is called a Near Death Experience (NDE).

Some people have spontaneous OBEs, or even train the ability to leave the body. After coming back into the body, life may seem kind of unreal. Grounding helps in regulating that back to a viable state. All physical activities that we enjoy -  dancing, gardening, sports, sex - are helpful in grounding. They don't have to be grounding exercises - just use the body for things that both you and the body enjoy. One OBE book even talks about hefty meals as a help to get grounded - that could be the steak that we normally avoid :-)

 Delayed Standard Lessons

Some lessons can be skipped without doing harm - for instance there are people who never raise children, but serve their fellow humans as artists or scientists - they can be successful and happy without ever learning that. Other people are lucky and never have to care for a sick mother or child - they get through life without this specific knowhow, or in other words, they can remain subject illiterate in this area without major negative consequences.

But some lessons would be fatal to skip. There are people who didn't have the chance to learn reading and writing in their earlier school years. They are now 30 and 40 and have a terribly hard time because they cannot function in modern life if they are illiterate.



This lady stopped making progress in her lesson of personal autonomy around the age of 20

when she went from the safe haven of her parents' home directly into the dependency from

a husband. Now at over 50 she is divorced and has to complete the unfinished lesson of how

to support herself financially. Could you look through her mature face and recognize the unexperienced young girl's personality traits in her?


Delayed lessons are one major target area of Life Lesson Processing. It can make all the difference for a person to catch up on learning an essential life skill. Typically it requires session work first, to address the emotional pain of all the failures and losses that resulted from having to perform in an important life area without being properly trained and prepared.

Others had no opportunity to learn the skills and art of lovemaking in their youth. At the age of 40, 50, 60 or above they still have the questions of a young man or woman when they want to make a relationship work in the bedroom. It requires extreme trust from their own side, and extreme sensitivity from a partner, to make them realize their much younger developmental age and to pick up the learning process right where it  stalled, even if that means to go 40 years back. To perceive the shy and unexperienced youngster in a powerful business owner who is just about to retire is not an easy task. He grew up and evolved in most every way, just in that one area of maturing he stayed 17.  

Or the ability to stand on their own feet financially - often women didn't have a chance to learn that in their 20's, which would have been the appropriate time. They became mothers very early and moved from the safe haven of their parents' home directly into the financial dependency from a husband. At 40 or 50 they get divorced, and are now 20 or 30 years behind their physical age in this regard.

Life Lesson Processing practitioners are trained to recognize your developmental age in any of the standard human life lessons, regardless of your physical age. They will coach you in picking up where you left off 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago or more, if necessary. You will experience them as very gentle, but they will not let you down whenever you need a moment of guidance.

 Cultural Lessons/Collective Karma

Cultural lessons have to do with the Morphic Fields to which we are connected. These lessons can be very frustrating to learn, the more frustrating the less active we are in playing our roles as members of a certain culture.

Martin Luther King for instance played such a vibrant and active role in the lessons that the colored people learned first about oppression and then about equality, that he most certainly did not suffer on a majority of his days. At the same time his colored brothers and sisters suffered badly through a really dark age of their history. Instead of radiating their energy out into their environment, the various morphic fields that were interacting in that environment impinged on them most of the time. In other words, they were effect rather than cause, and as these were bad times, they were effect of bad things - and suffered.



Humanity to Universe: "Hey, I cannot make

up my mind about radiation. Can you please

show me a movie about that?" - "But of course,

my dear child. Here, look at Chernobyl!"

 Active and Passive Learning

The regression therapist and inspired author Thorwald Dethlefsen distinguishes between active learning and passive learning. He suggests that we always have the choice to learn a lesson actively by taking the bull by the horns and sorting out the situation that presents the lesson to us. If we are not up to that - too weak, too scared, distracted, not trained for it, too early, too fast -, we either fail in playing the active role, or we completely avoid playing it. Our cue comes, but we don't react. The situation goes by and we have not performed our part. 

In such cases, we put out an unconscious wish to have the lesson taught to us - like a toddler who says "Mummy, I cannot say this word, please say it for me once more!" The universe will then respond to this wish by serving us a movie that demonstrates the lesson to us. We now have the choice to learn the lesson passively, or if we are still not up to it, we get presented with the next movie that contains the same lesson, and so on, soap opera style - until we finally complete this learning step, at which point life will move on and present us with the next lesson, according to our life plan. (How about a little rest every now and then? Just a personal thought...)

Cultural lessons very much follow this pattern. Now the unpleasant fact here is that not all individuals of a culture are at the same point of their development. So while a majority gets rightfully served with the passive learning they have unconsciously asked for, some individuals who have already learned that specific lesson are nevertheless caught in the often painful and dramatic movie that unfolds. Another word for such a lesson might be Collective Karma. Although these two concepts are not completely the same thing, they are covered on the same page of life's instruction manual.

 Personal Responsibility For Our Culture

In Life Lesson Processing we work only with individuals. Our influence on Morphic Fields is indirect, through the personal development these individuals undergo, which will then radiate out into their morphic field or fields. So we will not cover cultural lessons in any greater depth. Only so much: Any cultural evolution is entirely propelled by the individual members of this culture. On the other hand, any cultural deadlock or derailment is also caused by the individual members of this culture - even if often "only" by non-action rather than action. At any time where we desperately ask who the hell is causing all this misery, the face of the culprit is right in front of us in the mirror.

 Morphic Field Emancipation

For the individual, the Interaction with, and emancipation from the prevalent Morphic Field is an all-important standard lesson. It is not something that can be learned once and then remembered - it has to be done again in each lifetime, and it has to be done continuously, in more or less every waking moment.

Like the lesson of Incarnation, it can be called a "container lesson", because it permeates all other standard lessons except the act of incarnating as such and the very last moment of separating from the surrounding culture by leaving the body in the act of dying. Most every other moment inside a human lifetime, if it is not spent in complete isolation, has to do with morphic field interaction.

Up to the age of maturity, it is kind of natural that the child is mainly shaped by the morphic field of his culture. After that, it depends on his mental state - either healthy or damaged by his upbringing or traumatic experiences in earlier lifetimes -, whether he wil be able to actively shape the morphic field or fields he is part of (there can be several), or will remain a passive slave of them, or becomes an active agent of them.

It always depends on the sanity of a morphic field whether these are good or bad things. If we bring our culture's reading and writing skills to some third world country, we can be proud of being agents of our morphic field. If we export our morphic field's suicide bombing to a country that has never been touched by it before, that morphic field is criminal and we turn into criminals by being its agents. Now this is an extreme example, but you get the idea.

Personal Lessons of a positive nature, like courage or responsibility, very much play into the standard container lesson of morphic field emancipation. We get served with plenty of Screenplays to practice this. On the other hand, a less than optimum morphic field can do a lot to propel painful personal lessons like being a victim, experiencing injustice, bad parenting, cults, poverty or abuse. If a spiritual being is interested in these themes, he will choose a matching morphic field (culture) when making the Life Plan for his upcoming incarnation. 


 Spiritual Sovereignty

In the paragraphs on Spiritual Criminality we discuss the ultimate crimes against the Spirit: As children or offspring of the Supreme Being we are made of the same material - "in the image of God" -, and have therefore inherited our Divine Parent's potential to create from the void, and his or her infinity of choices. Blocking us from using these divine qualities would be a spiritual crime.

In the lesson of Spiritual Sovereignty we learn to honor this infinity of choices in all consistency, in ourselves as well as in other people, way beyond rational thinking, a society's or church's moral codes, any survival related logic, or the "Greatest Good" consideration that we call Ethics. We do illogical things, silly things, forbidden things, destructive things - walk on the street naked, cut our finger, hold our breath until we are blue, smash our car...

Jumping out of a plane without a parachute, just to prove to oneself that one's power of choice is the most senior principle of all, far more important than physical survival, would be an extreme example - certainly we can manage only one such demonstration of spiritual sovereignty in a lifetime. We see less extreme demonstrations in people who make unhealthy choices in eating, lifestyle or drugs, and are totally stubborn about their right to do these things.

Physical addiction and lack of education complicate the matter considerably - maybe just copied from the mainstream habits in our culture, but maybe also part of a Personal Lesson. The fact that they harm another living being, their own body, by doing so, justifying it with the words "It is my body!" - that would be a topic for many discussions. Do we have the right to abuse our body like that, or are we violating a responsibility here? Certainly we are then no longer our body's Caring Commander, but it seems that the lesson of spiritual sovereignty is senior to even that most fundamental virtue.

It requires the ultimate stability from others to cope with our attempts to practice spiritual sovereignty, the most daring and difficult of all adventures a spirit can undertake - or from ourselves, if one of our family members or friends suddenly becomes destructive, even criminal, or in any other way apparently irrational or dangerous. (An exception would be a time when their Brain Health starts to go down - that could look similar, at least at the first glance.) We also have to be very sensitive toward other spirits' rights, so that we exercise our own sovereignty without violating theirs!

A most interesting phenomenon happens when a person is not playing such a suspicious role as a whole, but only one of his Identities is doing so - as in a very gentle person having a violent streak. Such a person lives under extreme tension, because his main self is travelling into a different direction than the revolting identity, and there are clashes between them all the time. Imagine one wheel of a car attempting to drive into the opposite direction of the other three!


Oh my God, a motorist driving against the traffic! That's how a person feels who has one Identity (a part of himself, also called "inside personality") having urges totally opposed to those of the main being, or majority of other identities. Upsets, tension, outright collisions of intent are happening all the time.

In such a situation we have to realize that the principle of Spirit Splitting - the same principle that spawns individuals from the Supreme Being - has continued inside one individual. The personalities resulting from these splits each want to exercise their spiritual sovereignty, even while sharing the same body. Fights over who gets the body for self-expression and physical action will be a daily reality. In Life Lesson Processing we learn how to manage these identities so that they can get along with each other.

In the lesson of spiritual sovereignty, we basically flex our divine muscle in learning to assume any potential point on various scales - like one scale reaching from total insanity to total sanity, another from total gloom to total happiness, another from total effect to total cause (there are more such scales) - by doing things that parents, teachers, doctors, our spouse, our kids, society in general, our church or the law consider "wrong", "criminal", "stupid", "unethical" etc. (A more gentle way of playing irrational, negative, contra-survival or destructive roles would be to do it in a counseling session in imaginary scenarios - then nobody gets harmed or into danger...)

It could be expected that the more opposition or critique we encounter in exercising this divine birthright, the more time we will spend to prove beyond any doubt that we indeed have an unlimited power of choice. In a society which is spiritually uneducated - the American mental trainer Alan C. Walter coined the term "Spiritual Illiteracy" for that, a special form of Subject Illiteracy -, such a determined revolt may cost a big toll in terms of energy, it could cut out many years or even decades from a lifetime, in some cultures it may even cost us our life. In such an environment, our individual lesson of spiritual sovereignty may turn into a Cultural Lesson, reminding our Morphic Field of the basic laws of spirituality that it violates, or has forgotten.

On the other hand, in a culture on a high level of awareness, where spiritual issues are a part of general education already in childhood, we may need to spend only little time on proving to ourselves how incredibly sovereign we are. As soon as we are no longer worried about our freedom, as soon as we have the certainty that nobody is trying to tamper with our power of choice or making us wrong for it, we can expand our Zoom Level to include other people, care for them and develop good teamwork and mutual responsibility. In some rather uncaring cultures, this may still require revolt on a cultural level though: we now exercise our spiritual sovereignty as a group rather than an individual. Here we are again into Cultural Lessons.


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Last edited: 13.01.2016